Lessons from Kindergarten #3

Things I Learned in Kindergarten...well, actually the title should be "Things I Learned While Working in My Daughter's Kindergarten Class on Friday Afternoons," but honestly, that really doesn't roll off the tongue does it?

Jesus was big on children and believed that they had some special insights about faith. Overlooking the fact that Jesus did not have kids, and thus was spared changing dirty diapers and dealing with a two year old who have just learned the word "no," let assume he was right. I have put my keen intellect to the task and come up with several "insights" about faith that I discovered while working in my daughter's Kindergarten class. Here we go:



#3 It's Soooooo Cool to Have Your Name Picked!


In my daughter's Kindergarten class there are certain "jobs" that the children get to do. These include taking the attendance sheet to the office; leading the Pledge of Allegiance; deciding what the weather is like outside and then filling in the weather chart. There are also several tasks in which the kids get to use the pointer (who doesn't love that feeling of authority that comes when you get to use a stick and point to things). While the chosen one is pointing out words on the wall the other children sing the song that goes with the list - Days of the Week, Months of the Year, Money.

None of these tasks are all that glamorous. They take a minute or so and everybody gets a chance to do it. Yet the kids look forward to having their name called. They may not hear another thing the teacher says all day but you can bet when their name is chosen they are quick to jump up and get to work. I have yet to hear one child complain about being called on. Nor have any of them thought to ask the teacher why she does not take the attendance to the office herself. I guess that response comes in middle school. In Kindergarten, being called on to help is cool. Really cool.

Somewhere between Kindergarten and middle school helping out loses it luster (I am guessing around 5th grade, but that just may be my own long, painful experience with my oldest child when she was in that grade). Instead of being cool and exciting, helping becomes a chore. Some kids will outgrow this and regain some passion for helping. Others will only agree to help out if the task is important enough and they get recognized for their efforts. Sadly, there is a group that never, ever want to do anything for anyone but themselves.

I often wonder how frustrating this must be for God. Each day are names are called out and we are given the opportunity, no, the privilege to help out. We get to say a kind word to someone who is down, hold the hand of someone who is grieving, or share a meal with someone who is hungry. How many of us jump up when the chance comes, eager and willing to help out? Do we look forward to hearing our name called? Or do we pretend that God is not talking to us? Imagine what kind of a world we might live in if we all acted like Kindergartners?

Lessons From Kindergarten #4

Things I Learned in Kindergarten...well, actually the title should be "Things I Learned While Working in My Daughter's Kindergarten Class on Friday Afternoons," but honestly, that really doesn't roll off the tongue does it?

Jesus was big on children and believed that they had some special insights about faith. Overlooking the fact that Jesus did not have kids, and thus was spared changing dirty diapers and dealing with a two year old who have just learned the word "no," let assume he was right. I have put my keen intellect to the task and come up with several "insights" about faith that I discovered while working in my daughter's Kindergarten class. Here we go:

#4 There Are Some Things You Just Gotta Tell the Teacher About

I mentioned in an earlier blog that there is a general routine in my daughter's class. The most consistent part of that routine takes place shortly after the kids arrive. They all go over to a carpeted area, try their best to sit on their bottoms and go through a series of activities. These include singing songs about the days of the week and what the weather is like outside. Heck, they even have a little ditty about money (quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies...as if pennies are really worth anything nowadays). Then the teacher reads them two or three books. It is by far the most predictable part of the day. I love it, in part because I get to sit in one of those tiny little chairs and watch how the kids interact with each other and to the story. I would love it more if my daughter would stop sitting with her back towards me so I can't see what she is doing. I can't prove that she is stonewalling me on purpose, but knowing this kid, its all premeditated. Oh, she knows what she is doing, alright!

My absolute favorite part of what I call "Carpet Time" comes towards the end. The teacher looks out at the kids, most of whom have their hands so far up in the air that I swear they are going to pull something, and calls on five. Just five. Its a real bummer if you are number six, but hey there is always Monday's "Carpet Time." The five don't have to answer any questions. They are free to share whatever is on their minds, hearts, or sleeves. When this sharing time comes some of the kids look like they are about to burst. They just have to tell the teacher that they are going to Grandma's for a sleepover, or that it is their brother's birthday, or that their dog peed on the carpet yesterday. The highlight was the kid who told the teacher they had thrown-up three times the night before, obviously forgetting that Mommy and/or Daddy told them to lay low about the puke-a-thon since they were not supposed to be in school. Poor kid was sent to the nurse's office so fast they had no idea what was happening to them.

What is so impressive about this is not just that the teacher listens to the kids (and she does) but that she has makes the time/space for them to share. She understands that kids need to tell someone about what is going in their world. Now, I may not see what is so important about Fido relieving himself on the Living Room carpet, but it mattered to the child. Adults are no different than kids in this respect. We all need safe space where we can unload the stuff we are carrying around.

This what makes community so important. Sure, anyone can believe in God. But if faith is something we do by ourselves then we miss out on the gift of community. True Christian community is safe space where we can bring all of our joys and sorrows and know that there are people who want to listen. And the best part... if you are number six you still get to share!

Lessons From Kindergarten #5

Things I Learned in Kindergarten...well, actually the title should be "Things I Learned While Working in My Daughter's Kindergarten Class on Friday Afternoons," but honestly, that really doesn't roll off the tongue does it?

Jesus was big on children and believed that they had some special insights about faith. Overlooking the fact that Jesus did not have kids, and thus was spared changing dirty diapers and dealing with a two year old who have just learned the word "no," let assume he was right. I have put my keen intellect to the task and come up with several "insights" about faith that I discovered while working in my daughter's Kindergarten class. Here we go:

#5 Raise Your Hand, Even If you Don't Know What the Question Is

I have taught at the university level before. In my class there is a certain pattern. I ask the class a question, they wait to hear the question, those that actually listened to my question might raise their hand to answer, if not I call on some unlucky victim. Its all so civilized.

I have not taught Kindergarten before. There are reasons for this. Many, many reasons. One is that the whole question/answer dynamic is messed up. In my daughter's class, the teacher starts to ask a question and, I kind you not, before she is three words into the question half the class has their hands up. They have no idea what the question is and even less of a clue about the answer. In fact, I am convinced that as soon as their hands go up their ears shut down. It must have something to do with blood pressure levels, but the hand/ear coordination is tied into how high in the air their hands are. The bigger the reach towards the sky, the less likely they are to listen.

The real fun begins after the teacher finishes asking the question. At a minimum the first five answers are wrong. Dead wrong. That is assuming they have an answer. It is not unusual for a child to get called on and have absolutely nothing to say. These are the kids that have not learned to wing it...yet. They did not hear the question and thus have no idea what the answer is or should be.

For the first nine months of school I found this very frustrating. Then it dawned on me that answering the question, while nice, is not the goal. No, the real objective is to get called on, to be recognized by the teacher. Getting the answer right when you are called on is icing on the cake, the cherry on top, but not at all essential. Why? Because even if they get the answer wrong they have learned that there is no punishment and that the teacher will call on them next time.

Even as adults we continue to crave this kind of recognition. Yet we live in a society where it seems like you only get noticed if you get the answer right (or really wrong, in which case law enforcement gets involved. Not fun.) Now, lets be clear, I like it when I get the right answer to the question. I really like it when my students get the correct answer. Any I really, really, really love it when they get the right answer to the question I actually asked. And I think that God likes it when we get it right as well. Yet, even when we get it wrong God still loves to call on us, to say our name, to let us know that we are alive and that we matter. That is the attitude that we seek to emulate as people of faith. In our communities we strive to value people for who they are, right or wrong (though we try to help folks get it right). We work hard at finding ways to call on people and to just celebrate that they took the time to raise their hands. Because sometimes it is more important to be recognized than to be right.

Lessons From Kindergarten #6

Things I Learned in Kindergarten...well, actually the title should be "Things I Learned While Working in My Daughter's Kindergarten Class on Friday Afternoons," but honestly, that really doesn't roll off the tongue does it?

Jesus was big on children and believed that they had some special insights about faith. Overlooking the fact that Jesus did not have kids, and thus was spared changing dirty diapers and dealing with two year-olds who have just learned the word "no," let assume he was right. I have put my keen intellect to the task and come up with several "insights" about faith that I discovered while working in my daughter's Kindergarten class. Here we go:

#6 There is a routine - it must be followed!
I learned in grad school that young children are concrete thinkers. Was that ever an understatement! There is a general routine in my daughter's class - note the use of the word general. In the minds of many of these 5 and 6 year-olds, however, this routine came down from the mountain with Moses, is engraved in massive stone tablets, and therefore must not be altered. Woe to the one who tries to change the routine! Some of these wonderful children absolutely freak out if the routine is changed. They don't know what to do. A few of them even feel a burning need to remind the teacher that this is not how things are supposed to happen, oblivious to the fact that she is the one who made up the routine in the first place. The look on their faces when they confront her reminds me of Bruce Willis in "Die Hard," a combination of fear and steely resolve to stop the bad guy who altered the routine and return the world to normalcy.
There is an exception - recess. The mere mention of this word brings cheers of joy and banishes any thoughts of routine. Who cares about the routine when you can go outside and play. All hail recess!
Routine is not a bad thing and there is value in having some predictability in life. Yet, faith is not a routine. The point of faith in Jesus is not so we can do the same things, the same way, over and over again. Faith is the celebration of the God who breaks into our lives with that magic word -recess. Recess from being alone, jealous, in pain, self-centered, lost. We are free to go out and care about other people, to let them care about us, to give without fear of losing, to enjoy this beautiful world we live in, to truly be loved.
What is amazing to me is how often we defend the routine and are willing to argue with others that fear, suffering, and self-preservation are the way things have to be. Yet we long for, hope for, need some one to tell us to forget about the routine and that it is time for recess. Know what - that is what Jesus did! So forget about the routine. Enjoy recess. It is a gift from God.

My son spent the last two days trying out for a select soccer team. We won't know for several days if he made the team, but the whole process was a bit unsettling for me. I sat there both days (in the shade, I should note, while the poor lad was out in the sun and 85 degree heat) afraid. Of what? That he might fail. He is a decent soccer player, though I am not planning on him earning a living at the sport (which is too bad, because as a professional athlete he could provide me with a standard of living that I would not have a problem getting used to.) As he was running through his drills I wondered why I was so nervous, so protective, so afraid. So what if he didn't make the team? In the grand scheme of things would it really matter? Did the fate of the universe hing on his playing U9 select soccer?
Then I thought, does God feel the same way about me? Afraid that I might fail? I tried to image God sitting on the sidelines of my life anxious that I would not be good enough. Perhaps that is what God does, but I doubt it. See, God is all about redemption. There is nothing I can do that God cannot redeem. Yes, there are consequences for my actions but even if I fail at something God is able to take that situation and make new possibilities and opportunities. So what is there for God to be nervous about? And if God is not afraid for me, why do I need to be afraid for my son? Who knew you could learn so much about parenting from soccer tryouts!