Talk to Homer (cont., still)

As a kid we used to play the If You Were Stranded On a Island What One [Blank] Would You Take game.  The [Blank] could be anything - food, books, music.  When my friends and I played this game the food question was fairly easy - pizza, nature's perfect food.  Books got a little tricky.  I remember once at church camp our counselor asked us what book we wanted with us.  Everyone thought we were supposed to say the Bible, which we did, even though none of us had actually read most or all of it.  Music ended up being whatever was the flavor of the month.  Sadly for one young man that was Air Supply.  No, I was not that foolish and I don't think the poor kid ever regained his standing with the rest of us boys.  Hollywood turned that game into a movie called Cast Away (did you ever think you would say ripped and Tom Hanks in the same sentence.  Weird.) 
So, just for old times sake, let's play.  You are stranded on an island and you can have one person with you.  Just one.  Oh, and they have to be alive right now.  None of this picking Jesus so he can turn all the water into wine business.  Is it going to be your spouse (so romantic) or, if you have them, one of your children (and you kept telling them you did not have a favorite.  Well the gig is up).  A best friend (thus sticking the knife in the back of a spouse and/or children)?  Parent? Sibling? Boss (really, there is no need to suck up anymore, you are on an island)?  Or will you opt for someone famous whom you don't know on the off chance that they really are as cool in real life as in the media?  Take a few moments and think it over.  I'll wait...
My guess is that for most of us choosing just one person out of all of our friends, family or celebrities is not easy.  Each person and/or media creation brings something to our lives.  So how do you pick?  Who gets left and who gets to go?  And why is it that we tend to value people and celebrities more when we think we won't get to see them again (think Elvis or Michael Jackson, both left on the curb of pop culture until they died)?
The other night I finally sat down to watch a movie called The Road.  A very disturbing post-apocalyptic flick about a man and his son trying to survive.  At one point the father rummages through an old vending machine and finds a can of Coke.  His son has never had one and the father takes great delight in watching him drink it.  The scene works because soft drinks are so common in our culture we take them for granted.  Can you imagine a day when Cokes, or pizza or TMZ no longer exist?  When they are not commonplace but rare and valuable (I know, TMZ being valuable is a bit of a stretch, but just go with me for now).
Our dismissive culture is rooted in abundance.  We can dismiss people or things because we have so much.  There is always another product to buy, place to go, movie to see.  If I don't like this brand of dish soap no problem, there are a dozen other brands to choose from.  And with billions of people in the world we can dismiss each other all we want.  There are simply too many people to care about and there will always be someone else entering our world. If scarcity brings value abundance brings indifference. 
I suppose we could try and play mind games and imagine that everything around us is scarce.  Yes, our days on this earth are numbered, but most of us don't really think of them as finite, especially when the average American gets around 30,000 of them.  People are all around us.  TV and radio stations keep growing in number.  Grocery stores are not scaling back in size.  It would be a tough trick to play on our mind.
No, the answer lies, I think, in our approach to abundance.  People are a gift.  I will concede that other people are not always what I would consider the perfect gift, but then again, neither am I.  What we, people, are to each other are blessings.  See, I believe that each person who enters my life has some gift that I need.  And I have something that they are looking for.  Often our giftedness is not immediately apparent.  And not infrequently the gift is wrapped up in a person who has, shall we say, flaws.  My task is not to dismiss the person because of their imperfections, but to embrace them and cherish them because I need them in my life.  And they need me.
Think of it this way.  It is Christmas or your birthday.  Do you tell people that you have too many presents?  No!  At least not if you are sane.  You keep unwrapping until the last gift.  And then, if you are like me, you take a good look around all of the boxes and paper to make sure you did not miss anything.  That, dear reader, is how God calls us to treat each other.
I am glad my wife the minister said "NO!" to my Homer sign.  Perhaps she should have suggested I make another one - "Homer was a gift.  So are you."

Talk to Homer (cont.)

Why won't you talk to me

You never talk to me

What are you thinking

Where do we go from here

It doesn't have to be like this

All we need to do is make sure we keep talking

Keep Talking by Pink Floyd

A couple of years ago I was blessed to go on a trip to Haiti.  As often happens on trips there are unexpected surprises - broken down vehicles, people getting sick, fun stuff like that.  There are also fantastic opportunities that crop up.  A few days into our visit our host informed me that on Sunday afternoon I was going to be the featured guest on the organizations weekly radio program.  Note that I was not asked.  Is my love of talking really that transparent?  It is a sad commentary that even across language and cultural barriers people just know that if you stick a mic in my face I will start jabbering away.  Oh well, I could have worse vices.  Right?

Sunday afternoon rolled around and our whole group headed to the radio station.  It was late June which, in case you are not familiar with the Caribbean, is not exactly cool or comfortable.  So, instead of being greeted with a breathtaking blast of air conditioning (which the studio did not have) we walked into a room that had spent the day being conditioned by heat and humidity.  No problem, we were not going to be here that long and we were offered cold drinks.  As we were sitting in the reception area I could see into the broadcasting booth.  There was a large color television in the room showing a soccer match from  the European championships.  Two men were in the booth doing play-by-play of the game they were watching on TV.  No problem, the game was almost over.  Except that it wasn't.  It went to extra time (another 30 minutes in case you are not familiar with the liturgy of the world's greatest religion) and then penalty kicks.  

For a brief few seconds I wondered if they were going to stop broadcasting the game in order to get the program I was supposed to be part of on the air.  Look, it was hot.  We all have irrational moments when we are hot and tired.  If I ever needed a reality check, a reminder of my place in the world, that soccer match provided it.  Thanks you, soccer, for that dose of humility.

Almost an hour after our scheduled time the program finally got started.  It was at this moment that our guest mentioned to us (there were two high school youth from our group who were also part of the program) that the show was broadcast all over the country.  Oh, and that it was a call-in show.  OMG.  

Things got under way and we had few problems.  The kids did great, our host was a good translator, and several people remarked that I had a great voice for radio (and the face as well).  Then we got to the calls.  I took a deep breath.  I was familiar with American call-in programs.  Since I did not speak Creole, would I even know when I was being cussed out?  Threatened?  Verbally abused?

God was, and is gracious.  So were those who called in.  The program ended and we headed back to our guest house.  I have no idea how many people were listening, but I remain grateful for the experience and for the conversations that I had with the host and those who called in.  

There are times when I look back on that day and wonder why I treated those who called in so differently than I have people who walk into my office.  Rather than dismiss them as a distraction, I longed for people to pick up the phone and call the radio station.  I wanted to talk to them and hoped that lots of people in Haiti wanted to talk to me.  I respected those callers.  Why?

There is such a need in our dismissive culture to be heard.  Talk radio in America thrives because there are so many people that want someone, anyone, to listen to them.  We want to be validated, acknowledged, noticed.  Yet everywhere we turn people dismiss each other.  Sadly, this happens a lot even on talk radio, but people still call in because they need to talk.  Even negative attention is some attention.

So, where do we go from here?  I have some ideas which I will share next time.  Till then, keep talking.

Talk to Homer - He Might Care

There's hunger in Africa,

And anger on assembly lines.

At the touch of a button

I'm miles away.

I want no connection, just information,

And I'm gone.

My Global Mind by Queensryche

A few years ago a dear friend gave my wife and I a life-sized cardboard cutout of Homer Simpson.  He is standing with his arms crossed with a surly look on his face.  Being a big fan of both the Simpson's and surly looks (I have a teenager, after all) I loved it.  So did my wife.  We decided to put it in our office at church.  It was great, the first thing people saw when they walked into the minister's office was surly Homer.
I, however, was not content just leaving Homer in the office to make people wonder what sort of freaks worked at this church.  No, I felt a divine presence had brought him to us for a reason.  For days, nay weeks, I pondered what use I could make of Homer.  While I was in deep meditation over this weighty issue someone came into the office complaining about something that I felt was a complete and utter non-issue.  Someone had too much time on their hands, and it was not me.  It was at that moment that the heavens opened up and all became clear.  Homer had been sent to help me deal with all of the annoying people in my life.  Thank you, Jesus!
When my wife returned to the office I shared with her my glorious revelation.  We would make a sign that read "Talk to Homer, he might be the only one who cares," and we would put it around his neck.  Every time someone came to us with some pointless complaint or wanted to gossip or otherwise waste our time we would point them to the sign.  I waited for her response, knowing that she would be so impressed with the concept that she would offer to make dinner that night.  She looked at me for a second and then, with a rather surely look on her face, said "NO!"  Not, "no," or "No," either of which would have indicated that while not thrilled with the idea she could be persuaded.  "NO!" meant end of discussion.  Not that I did not try and change her mind.  I regard "NO!" the same way I do speed limit signs - they are more of a suggestion, a guideline if you will, rather than a fixed law.
I attempted to explain to her that this would not only keep people from coming to us with all of their petty gripes but it would send a powerful message to the congregation about the need to keep things in perspective.  Once again, "NO!"  When I pressed her for a little more detail she simply said (with the same surly look on her face) that it would discourage people who really needed to talk to us from doing so.  Homer stayed and the sign never saw the light of day.  Sometimes "NO!" really means "NO!"  Stupid "NO!"
Some might argue, as my wife the minister did later on, that I was being too dismissive of people.  "No," I responded (not "NO!" just "No") "you can never be too dismissive in American society.  It is a necessary survival instinct.  Without it you would go nuts."  We are bombarded with an endless cycle of requests each day.  Turn on the TV and someone is trying to sell you something.  Drive down the road and the billboard is trying to sell you something.  Flip on the radio, even supposedly commercial-free satellite radio, and someone is trying to push something on you.  Magazines, newspapers, and oh, lest we forget the scourge known as direct mail, aka junkmail.  How can you not be dismissive in this culture?  If we paid attention to everything around us we would have a complete and utter meltdown.
I was at a conference where one of the speakers worked in advertising.  He pointed out an interesting fact.  On any given day there are countless ads in the newspaper for tires.  We tend not to notice them, until we need tires.  Then, suddenly, we see them.  He's right.  We have developed a remarkable survival skill in an age of hyper commercialism.  It gets applied to every part of our lives, including relationships.  I like to think that my Homer sign bothered my wife because it said what we really thought.  And honesty can be brutal.  I also think my wife was right in her belief that the Christian faith calls all of us, not just clergy, to care for and about each other.  The problem is trying to live that out when we have to dismiss in order to survive.  I am not sure what the answer is.  I think I will go and talk to Homer for a while.  He might not only care, he might have some answers.  I will let you know tomorrow.