Talk to Homer - He Might Care

There's hunger in Africa,

And anger on assembly lines.

At the touch of a button

I'm miles away.

I want no connection, just information,

And I'm gone.

My Global Mind by Queensryche

A few years ago a dear friend gave my wife and I a life-sized cardboard cutout of Homer Simpson.  He is standing with his arms crossed with a surly look on his face.  Being a big fan of both the Simpson's and surly looks (I have a teenager, after all) I loved it.  So did my wife.  We decided to put it in our office at church.  It was great, the first thing people saw when they walked into the minister's office was surly Homer.
I, however, was not content just leaving Homer in the office to make people wonder what sort of freaks worked at this church.  No, I felt a divine presence had brought him to us for a reason.  For days, nay weeks, I pondered what use I could make of Homer.  While I was in deep meditation over this weighty issue someone came into the office complaining about something that I felt was a complete and utter non-issue.  Someone had too much time on their hands, and it was not me.  It was at that moment that the heavens opened up and all became clear.  Homer had been sent to help me deal with all of the annoying people in my life.  Thank you, Jesus!
When my wife returned to the office I shared with her my glorious revelation.  We would make a sign that read "Talk to Homer, he might be the only one who cares," and we would put it around his neck.  Every time someone came to us with some pointless complaint or wanted to gossip or otherwise waste our time we would point them to the sign.  I waited for her response, knowing that she would be so impressed with the concept that she would offer to make dinner that night.  She looked at me for a second and then, with a rather surely look on her face, said "NO!"  Not, "no," or "No," either of which would have indicated that while not thrilled with the idea she could be persuaded.  "NO!" meant end of discussion.  Not that I did not try and change her mind.  I regard "NO!" the same way I do speed limit signs - they are more of a suggestion, a guideline if you will, rather than a fixed law.
I attempted to explain to her that this would not only keep people from coming to us with all of their petty gripes but it would send a powerful message to the congregation about the need to keep things in perspective.  Once again, "NO!"  When I pressed her for a little more detail she simply said (with the same surly look on her face) that it would discourage people who really needed to talk to us from doing so.  Homer stayed and the sign never saw the light of day.  Sometimes "NO!" really means "NO!"  Stupid "NO!"
Some might argue, as my wife the minister did later on, that I was being too dismissive of people.  "No," I responded (not "NO!" just "No") "you can never be too dismissive in American society.  It is a necessary survival instinct.  Without it you would go nuts."  We are bombarded with an endless cycle of requests each day.  Turn on the TV and someone is trying to sell you something.  Drive down the road and the billboard is trying to sell you something.  Flip on the radio, even supposedly commercial-free satellite radio, and someone is trying to push something on you.  Magazines, newspapers, and oh, lest we forget the scourge known as direct mail, aka junkmail.  How can you not be dismissive in this culture?  If we paid attention to everything around us we would have a complete and utter meltdown.
I was at a conference where one of the speakers worked in advertising.  He pointed out an interesting fact.  On any given day there are countless ads in the newspaper for tires.  We tend not to notice them, until we need tires.  Then, suddenly, we see them.  He's right.  We have developed a remarkable survival skill in an age of hyper commercialism.  It gets applied to every part of our lives, including relationships.  I like to think that my Homer sign bothered my wife because it said what we really thought.  And honesty can be brutal.  I also think my wife was right in her belief that the Christian faith calls all of us, not just clergy, to care for and about each other.  The problem is trying to live that out when we have to dismiss in order to survive.  I am not sure what the answer is.  I think I will go and talk to Homer for a while.  He might not only care, he might have some answers.  I will let you know tomorrow.