Lessons from Kindergarten #1

Things I Learned in Kindergarten...well, actually the title should be "Things I Learned While Working in My Daughter's Kindergarten Class on Friday Afternoons," but honestly, that really doesn't roll off the tongue does it?

Jesus was big on children and believed that they had some special insights about faith. Overlooking the fact that Jesus did not have kids, and thus was spared changing dirty diapers and dealing with a two year old who have just learned the word "no," let assume he was right. I have put my keen intellect to the task and come up with several "insights" about faith that I discovered while working in my daughter's Kindergarten class. Here we go:

#1 - Spelling is a Communal Activity

Kindergarten is not the same anymore. Granted, its been a few years, but I vaguely remember that Kindergarten was basically a prep course for elementary school. We might have worked on our alphabet and numbers. Perhaps we even learned a few colors and shapes. But the real focus was on social skills. And naps. The rage in nap time fashion in the 70s were these little rugs that had been made from strips of cloth. Everybody had one. No one wanted to use it. To this day my back hurts just thinking about laying on that rag-rug on the hard floor. Oh to be young and limber again!

Social skills were important because for most of my classmates this was the first time we were thrown in with a bunch of other kids for an extended period of time. So, in order to avoid a potentially chaotic situation in 1st grade we were shipped off to school to learn how to sit, listen, share, sit, and nap.

Today, kids have more experience with being in settings with other kids. Preschools and daycare have cornered the market on basic social skills (except for tattling, but we have already covered that little jewel in the last blog) so now Kindergarten is all about hardcore learning. There are no rugs, no naps. Nope, today the little tykes are expected to walk into 1st grade knowing how to count to at least 100 (by 1s, 2s, 5s, and 10s) and recognize shapes that I did not learn till 3rd grade. ABC's? Forget about it. They are reading, and not just Dick and Jane kiddies books. I swear I saw a kid in my daughter's class browsing through a copy of "Ulysses"!

With reading comes writing. From day one the teacher had the kids do something called Writer's Workshop. They get a special piece of paper on which they are to write a story and then draw a picture about it. In the fall the kids were able to draw better than write. But as the year wore on they had to write longer and more complicated stories. Writing involves one of my least favorite activities in the world - spelling. The kids come up with some wonderful ideas for stories but they don't always know how to spell the words. So they ask the teacher, or me (big, I mean big mistake). Or they ask someone else at their table. This, to me, is the greatest part of Writer's Workshop, watching 5 and 6 year olds try and figure out how to spell. Sometimes one of the kids at the table knows how to spell the word and slowly tells the other child what letters to write down. If no one knows how to spell the word the whole table brainstorms together and comes up with a solution. They don't always get it right, but that is okay. What they are figuring out is that learning new things can be hard. Better to work together than go it alone.

These kids get the point of faith communities (aka Church). Faith is not easy! There are lots of questions and sometimes we struggle to find the answers on our own. But God has given us this incredible gift of community, a bunch of people sitting at our table who can help us figure out the problem. Do faith communities always get the right answer? No, but that is okay. We keep working together, learning together, serving together, loving together. Along the way we learn that faith is not always about the right answer but rather is about being in community with each other and God. Relationships are the answer. And naps, but not on the hard floor.

Lessons from Kindergarten #2

Things I Learned in Kindergarten...well, actually the title should be "Things I Learned While Working in My Daughter's Kindergarten Class on Friday Afternoons," but honestly, that really doesn't roll off the tongue does it?

Jesus was big on children and believed that they had some special insights about faith. Overlooking the fact that Jesus did not have kids, and thus was spared changing dirty diapers and dealing with a two year old who have just learned the word "no," let assume he was right. I have put my keen intellect to the task and come up with several "insights" about faith that I discovered while working in my daughter's Kindergarten class. Here we go:

#2: It's Not Tattling If I Am the One Doing It
This topic may not seem all that original. If you have spent any time with young children you know that tattling is a fact of life. The sun comes up in the East each morning, the Cubs are never going to win another World Series, and Kindergartners can't resist the temptation to tattle. It's biological. It's hard wired into their psyches. You might have more success turning a lion into a vegetarian than getting kindergartners to not tattle.

What I find fascinating about tattling is not that kids (and adults?!) do it, but that they engage in the behavior in spite of our best efforts to reprogram them. There is a lady in my daughter's elementary school who's job it is to teach kids some of the basics of social interaction. Once a month she comes to my daughter's kindergarten class to work with the children about how to share, not be bullies, protecting themselves from people who would try to hurt them, and the evils of tattling. She is a nice woman and the kids seem to like her. For all I know she is a highly gifted educator, but even I knew that the moment the lesson started it was doomed to complete and utter failure. Cub fans know what I am talking about here. You believe in the cause and you want so badly for it to work, but you can't escape the forces of nature no matter who is on your team. Some things are just doomed from the start of spring training.

If I remember correctly it was a cold January afternoon when the offensive on tattling was launched. The kids formed something resembling a circle on the carpet. I sat off in the distance not sure what to do. I felt like I was about to witness a car wreck. I could not stop the accident from happening, but could not turn away from watching the whole thing go down. The "behavior" teacher started to work with the children about what constituted tattling and what was okay to tell adults. Bottom line, if some property or person was going to be hurt or damaged then you need to tell an adult. Otherwise, it's tattling and you should keep it to yourself. For 30 minutes she spoke to them, went through role plays, and drilled them about tattling. It made sense to me. If I was unclear before the lesson I had a firm grasp on the subject when she was done. In fact I even felt a tinge of hope. Maybe, just maybe this high quality presentation did the trick! I stood up to go to the other side of the room and was met by a sweet young girl who promptly informed me that another child had not washed their hands when they left the bathroom. I asked her if she was tattling and with a completely straight face she told me no. POP went my bubble of hope! Again, Cub fans can grasp my emotion here. It felt like June, when the tradition swoon begins.

Humans have this remarkable capacity to rationalize our own behavior. After all, it's not tattling if I am the one that is doing it. Yet God never gives up on us. With remarkable patience God continues to try and teach us how to treat each other. My initial instinct after talking to the young girl about tattling was to weep for the future, certain that all hope was lost (come on Cubby fans, you know what I am talking about here!) With God hope is never lost. So the little girl didn't get it the first time, or the fifth, on three hundred and fifty-sixth. Someday it might click for her which is more than enough reason to continue to try and teach the lesson. So, I raise a toast to all of us who try, and try, and try to teach kindness, compassion, understanding, and love. It is the work of God. And for Cub fans, all I can say is there is always next season...and the next...and the next...

Lessons from Kindergarten #3

Things I Learned in Kindergarten...well, actually the title should be "Things I Learned While Working in My Daughter's Kindergarten Class on Friday Afternoons," but honestly, that really doesn't roll off the tongue does it?

Jesus was big on children and believed that they had some special insights about faith. Overlooking the fact that Jesus did not have kids, and thus was spared changing dirty diapers and dealing with a two year old who have just learned the word "no," let assume he was right. I have put my keen intellect to the task and come up with several "insights" about faith that I discovered while working in my daughter's Kindergarten class. Here we go:



#3 It's Soooooo Cool to Have Your Name Picked!


In my daughter's Kindergarten class there are certain "jobs" that the children get to do. These include taking the attendance sheet to the office; leading the Pledge of Allegiance; deciding what the weather is like outside and then filling in the weather chart. There are also several tasks in which the kids get to use the pointer (who doesn't love that feeling of authority that comes when you get to use a stick and point to things). While the chosen one is pointing out words on the wall the other children sing the song that goes with the list - Days of the Week, Months of the Year, Money.

None of these tasks are all that glamorous. They take a minute or so and everybody gets a chance to do it. Yet the kids look forward to having their name called. They may not hear another thing the teacher says all day but you can bet when their name is chosen they are quick to jump up and get to work. I have yet to hear one child complain about being called on. Nor have any of them thought to ask the teacher why she does not take the attendance to the office herself. I guess that response comes in middle school. In Kindergarten, being called on to help is cool. Really cool.

Somewhere between Kindergarten and middle school helping out loses it luster (I am guessing around 5th grade, but that just may be my own long, painful experience with my oldest child when she was in that grade). Instead of being cool and exciting, helping becomes a chore. Some kids will outgrow this and regain some passion for helping. Others will only agree to help out if the task is important enough and they get recognized for their efforts. Sadly, there is a group that never, ever want to do anything for anyone but themselves.

I often wonder how frustrating this must be for God. Each day are names are called out and we are given the opportunity, no, the privilege to help out. We get to say a kind word to someone who is down, hold the hand of someone who is grieving, or share a meal with someone who is hungry. How many of us jump up when the chance comes, eager and willing to help out? Do we look forward to hearing our name called? Or do we pretend that God is not talking to us? Imagine what kind of a world we might live in if we all acted like Kindergartners?

Lessons From Kindergarten #4

Things I Learned in Kindergarten...well, actually the title should be "Things I Learned While Working in My Daughter's Kindergarten Class on Friday Afternoons," but honestly, that really doesn't roll off the tongue does it?

Jesus was big on children and believed that they had some special insights about faith. Overlooking the fact that Jesus did not have kids, and thus was spared changing dirty diapers and dealing with a two year old who have just learned the word "no," let assume he was right. I have put my keen intellect to the task and come up with several "insights" about faith that I discovered while working in my daughter's Kindergarten class. Here we go:

#4 There Are Some Things You Just Gotta Tell the Teacher About

I mentioned in an earlier blog that there is a general routine in my daughter's class. The most consistent part of that routine takes place shortly after the kids arrive. They all go over to a carpeted area, try their best to sit on their bottoms and go through a series of activities. These include singing songs about the days of the week and what the weather is like outside. Heck, they even have a little ditty about money (quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies...as if pennies are really worth anything nowadays). Then the teacher reads them two or three books. It is by far the most predictable part of the day. I love it, in part because I get to sit in one of those tiny little chairs and watch how the kids interact with each other and to the story. I would love it more if my daughter would stop sitting with her back towards me so I can't see what she is doing. I can't prove that she is stonewalling me on purpose, but knowing this kid, its all premeditated. Oh, she knows what she is doing, alright!

My absolute favorite part of what I call "Carpet Time" comes towards the end. The teacher looks out at the kids, most of whom have their hands so far up in the air that I swear they are going to pull something, and calls on five. Just five. Its a real bummer if you are number six, but hey there is always Monday's "Carpet Time." The five don't have to answer any questions. They are free to share whatever is on their minds, hearts, or sleeves. When this sharing time comes some of the kids look like they are about to burst. They just have to tell the teacher that they are going to Grandma's for a sleepover, or that it is their brother's birthday, or that their dog peed on the carpet yesterday. The highlight was the kid who told the teacher they had thrown-up three times the night before, obviously forgetting that Mommy and/or Daddy told them to lay low about the puke-a-thon since they were not supposed to be in school. Poor kid was sent to the nurse's office so fast they had no idea what was happening to them.

What is so impressive about this is not just that the teacher listens to the kids (and she does) but that she has makes the time/space for them to share. She understands that kids need to tell someone about what is going in their world. Now, I may not see what is so important about Fido relieving himself on the Living Room carpet, but it mattered to the child. Adults are no different than kids in this respect. We all need safe space where we can unload the stuff we are carrying around.

This what makes community so important. Sure, anyone can believe in God. But if faith is something we do by ourselves then we miss out on the gift of community. True Christian community is safe space where we can bring all of our joys and sorrows and know that there are people who want to listen. And the best part... if you are number six you still get to share!

Lessons From Kindergarten #5

Things I Learned in Kindergarten...well, actually the title should be "Things I Learned While Working in My Daughter's Kindergarten Class on Friday Afternoons," but honestly, that really doesn't roll off the tongue does it?

Jesus was big on children and believed that they had some special insights about faith. Overlooking the fact that Jesus did not have kids, and thus was spared changing dirty diapers and dealing with a two year old who have just learned the word "no," let assume he was right. I have put my keen intellect to the task and come up with several "insights" about faith that I discovered while working in my daughter's Kindergarten class. Here we go:

#5 Raise Your Hand, Even If you Don't Know What the Question Is

I have taught at the university level before. In my class there is a certain pattern. I ask the class a question, they wait to hear the question, those that actually listened to my question might raise their hand to answer, if not I call on some unlucky victim. Its all so civilized.

I have not taught Kindergarten before. There are reasons for this. Many, many reasons. One is that the whole question/answer dynamic is messed up. In my daughter's class, the teacher starts to ask a question and, I kind you not, before she is three words into the question half the class has their hands up. They have no idea what the question is and even less of a clue about the answer. In fact, I am convinced that as soon as their hands go up their ears shut down. It must have something to do with blood pressure levels, but the hand/ear coordination is tied into how high in the air their hands are. The bigger the reach towards the sky, the less likely they are to listen.

The real fun begins after the teacher finishes asking the question. At a minimum the first five answers are wrong. Dead wrong. That is assuming they have an answer. It is not unusual for a child to get called on and have absolutely nothing to say. These are the kids that have not learned to wing it...yet. They did not hear the question and thus have no idea what the answer is or should be.

For the first nine months of school I found this very frustrating. Then it dawned on me that answering the question, while nice, is not the goal. No, the real objective is to get called on, to be recognized by the teacher. Getting the answer right when you are called on is icing on the cake, the cherry on top, but not at all essential. Why? Because even if they get the answer wrong they have learned that there is no punishment and that the teacher will call on them next time.

Even as adults we continue to crave this kind of recognition. Yet we live in a society where it seems like you only get noticed if you get the answer right (or really wrong, in which case law enforcement gets involved. Not fun.) Now, lets be clear, I like it when I get the right answer to the question. I really like it when my students get the correct answer. Any I really, really, really love it when they get the right answer to the question I actually asked. And I think that God likes it when we get it right as well. Yet, even when we get it wrong God still loves to call on us, to say our name, to let us know that we are alive and that we matter. That is the attitude that we seek to emulate as people of faith. In our communities we strive to value people for who they are, right or wrong (though we try to help folks get it right). We work hard at finding ways to call on people and to just celebrate that they took the time to raise their hands. Because sometimes it is more important to be recognized than to be right.

Lessons From Kindergarten #6

Things I Learned in Kindergarten...well, actually the title should be "Things I Learned While Working in My Daughter's Kindergarten Class on Friday Afternoons," but honestly, that really doesn't roll off the tongue does it?

Jesus was big on children and believed that they had some special insights about faith. Overlooking the fact that Jesus did not have kids, and thus was spared changing dirty diapers and dealing with two year-olds who have just learned the word "no," let assume he was right. I have put my keen intellect to the task and come up with several "insights" about faith that I discovered while working in my daughter's Kindergarten class. Here we go:

#6 There is a routine - it must be followed!
I learned in grad school that young children are concrete thinkers. Was that ever an understatement! There is a general routine in my daughter's class - note the use of the word general. In the minds of many of these 5 and 6 year-olds, however, this routine came down from the mountain with Moses, is engraved in massive stone tablets, and therefore must not be altered. Woe to the one who tries to change the routine! Some of these wonderful children absolutely freak out if the routine is changed. They don't know what to do. A few of them even feel a burning need to remind the teacher that this is not how things are supposed to happen, oblivious to the fact that she is the one who made up the routine in the first place. The look on their faces when they confront her reminds me of Bruce Willis in "Die Hard," a combination of fear and steely resolve to stop the bad guy who altered the routine and return the world to normalcy.
There is an exception - recess. The mere mention of this word brings cheers of joy and banishes any thoughts of routine. Who cares about the routine when you can go outside and play. All hail recess!
Routine is not a bad thing and there is value in having some predictability in life. Yet, faith is not a routine. The point of faith in Jesus is not so we can do the same things, the same way, over and over again. Faith is the celebration of the God who breaks into our lives with that magic word -recess. Recess from being alone, jealous, in pain, self-centered, lost. We are free to go out and care about other people, to let them care about us, to give without fear of losing, to enjoy this beautiful world we live in, to truly be loved.
What is amazing to me is how often we defend the routine and are willing to argue with others that fear, suffering, and self-preservation are the way things have to be. Yet we long for, hope for, need some one to tell us to forget about the routine and that it is time for recess. Know what - that is what Jesus did! So forget about the routine. Enjoy recess. It is a gift from God.