Trip to the Zoo

Warning - what follows may not be for the faint of heart or those with weak constitutions!

So, our family headed off to the zoo the other day.  I am always torn about the ethical implications of zoos. Some of the habitats are so small it just seems wrong to keep the animals all penned up.  Then again, conservation efforts are more successful when we can see animals up close and some of the more entree prone creatures (I'm looking at you Mr. Antelope) just might have a longer life-span within the friendly confines of the zoo.

On this particular day I successfully repressed my moral quandaries and joined my wife and kids on a trek to see all that nature had to offer.  At the far end of the zoo was a large complex devoted to primates, the not-so distant cousins of we human beings.  "Let's go check it out," my wife and I suggested.  The kids did not seem that excited about our impeding family reunion.  But, being the outstanding parents that we are, my wife and I chose the path of least resistance and told them that we were going to the primate house because...because...we said so.  Yeah, because we said so!  Being the outstanding children that they are, my kids complied in body while leaving their spirits back with the elephants.

The primate house is in a big building.  The animals have indoor and outdoor areas in which they can play, eat, just hang out or do their business.  Our zoo has a large gorilla population so we went inside and proceeded to watch the young gorillas leap and fly all over their habitat.  My two youngest children loved it (so did my teenage daughter, but she was never going to let me see her enjoying herself).  This was such a great family moment, my wife, our kids, and hyper-active primates.  If ever there was a Norman Rockwell moment, this was it.

Then it happened.  An adult female gorilla was sitting with her back to us.  Suddenly, she turned herself around, looked directly at my oldest daughter and myself, and then promptly vomited into the palm of her hand.  Then, before we had time to experience the appropriate amount of disgust, the gorilla began to eat that which she had just regurgitated.  Welcome to the primate house, humans!

I am happy to report that neither my daughter or myself lost out own lunch (but for a few seconds it was close). After the initial shock wore off we wondered if the gorilla was sick (mentally and physically).  We started to look around for an employee to tell them about the problem, but could find none.  It was at this point that I decided to do what all good middle-class Americans do when we can't report a problem to the authorities - we opted to flee the scene.  Unfortunately, my youngest kids, who had not witnessed the gorilla enjoying its own version of fast food, were having too much fun watching the juvenile gorillas to leave.

I returned my attention to the female gorilla who was still sitting in the same place, only a new group of people were standing in front of her.  Once again, she looked them in eye then regurgitated her regurgitation.  This family was not as discrete as my daughter and I and started freaking out, which of course drew my two youngest over to see what was up.  When they saw the gorilla eating its own vomit they started screaming.  You can't plan this kind of family fun, dear reader.  Some gifts just come your way by chance.

Because the gorilla's actions involved bodily emissions my kids really did not want to leave, hoping to see the animal puke in its hand again.  The gorilla did not disappoint.  By now it began to dawn on me that this gorilla may not have been physically ill, or even that mentally unbalanced.  On the contrary, the look in her eyes convinced me that she knew what she was doing.  You want a show, I'll give you a show!  Having fun at the zoo now?  Make sure you stop for a snack on your way out!

Yes, I believe that the gorilla was messing with us.  Whether she was doing this out of boredom, frustration, or because she needed some professional psychological help is not clear.  What was apparent was that the one in control of the situation was on the side of the glass with all of the other gorillas.  I was the primate on display, the one held captive by the whims and gag reflexes of this gorilla.  She knew it, even before I did.

Control can be really deceptive.  You might think you have it, only to discover that it was just an illusion.  The ability to walk upright and create zoos (with gift stores and over-priced food vendors) does not mean that we humans are really in control.  God gave us stewardship over this earth and with that comes some influence over other parts of creation.  But it is not absolute or universal.  We are not God, even if we think we are.  To remind us of this fact God has conveniently given us a few reality checks including upchucking gorillas. 

That to me is the most important function zoos can play. In the midst of the artificial environments we create, in spite of our best efforts to control our world, we come face to face with the simple truth that we cannot make the creation do what we want.  We can guide it, nudge it, even sedate it, but if the gorilla wants to puke in her hand as a sign of independence then she is going to do it.  All we can do is watch.  Or walk away.  Most of us with small children will be forced to watch even though we really want to walk away.

Thank you, Ms. I-will-eat-my-own-vomit-just-to-gross-you-out Gorilla.  You may have churned my stomach and put me off my dinner, but you taught me an important lesson - stay away form the primate house!