The Greeting Card Mafia

Mid-June. An interesting time for the Greeting Card Mafia to place Father's Day. Being a big fan of conspiracies (especially the ones I originate) I think the location of Father's Day on the holiday calendar has everything to do with cornering the market. Think about it. Mother's Day comes when almost all school districts are still in session. In elementary schools across the nation children work on cute crafts and handmade cards for dear ol' Mom. This has to cut into the bottom line of the Mafia. Yet Father's Day comes when the vast majority of school-aged kids are home on summer break. Do we, the Dad's of America, get the paper mache crafts? The cards with our kids hand prints on them? Do our children come home singing little ditties about Daddy that they learned in music class? No! So off to the store our families go to buy cards with fishing pools or Golden Retrievers on the cover. For those of us that don't fish or have dogs, tough luck. The Mafia is in control here. Oh, please don't get me started on the whole tie thing. Really, you don't want to go there!
I guess my beef with the Mafia is that it has failed to grasp that a) a card seldom if ever conveys love and b) that the nature of Fatherhood has changed. Ward Clever is dead (sorry Beaver!). Being a Dad in 21st century America is no longer about pipes or grilling in the backyard or "babysitting" our children. It is about negotiating a million changing expectations and desires.
Let me give you a quick example of what I mean. When I came kicking and screaming into this world my Father was not present. The hospital would not allow him to be in the room even if he wanted to be. His task in the whole birthing process was to wait. A pass out the cigars. Fast forward a generation. Today, not only are Dad's allowed in the delivery room, we are expected to be there. Unless we are in the operating room donating a kidney for our wife, in which case we might, might get a pass. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to be there when my kids were born. Yet it is a sign of how the rules have changed.
Fatherhood today is a full-contact sport. We are expected to be present in our kids lives in ways our Dad's and Grandfathers never dreamed of. Again, I think this is a good thing. I love being a Father (except for the whole diaper thing...and cleaning up puke...and toilet training...come to think of it I really don't like any of the bodily functions aspects of parenting). I have a bond with my kids that I would not trade for anything in the world. And it has opened up a new understanding of God for me. If God really is our "Father" then I think it is on this intimate level that I get to experience with my children (though I wonder how God feels about puke. God created it after all).
So, let this be a warning to the Greeting Card Mafia. You better catch up. Father's Day may be stuck in June, but we don't have to settle for the 1950s era cards. We are a new breed of Dad. And we know all about YouTube!