Hard to believe that it has been almost a year since TV pitchman Billy Mays left us. Sadly, Billy did not take the infomercial with him into the great beyond. Yes, there are others who have tried to carry on his legacy (thank you, Vince "The ShamWow Guy" Offer). Yet Sunday afternoons seem hollow with out Billy and his beard. Who knows what wonderful products Billy could have introduced to our lives. So much talent, gone too soon.
All may not be lost. Ponder, just for a moment, the possibility that even in the afterlife Billy might still be at it. Instead of pitching OxiClean, what if Brother Mays is making the case for souls before God? Sound too good to be true? Well, wait! We're not done! If you call in the next 30 minutes it could be your life Billy is selling to God.
Admit it, you are intrigued by the mere thought of your life as an infomercial. Granted, its not as cool as having your time on earth turned into a made-for-TV movie, but with Billy you get a full half-hour of hardcore, non-stop, in-your-face salesmanship. There is one question you need to ask yourself (besides whether God is going to turn to another station as soon as Billy appears before the throne). What are you going to give Billy to work with? Remember, Billy does not create the product, he just sells it.
Now, if this whole idea is making you a bit uncomfortable, relax. We "package" and "sell" ourselves all the time. Have you ever applied for anything? Created a resume? Had a job interview? Been on a first date? If you answered "yes" to any of the above then you have nothing to fear. You are an old hat at this infomercial thing. The only difference is the format, the excitable guy with the beard, and, oh yeah, God.The thing about infomercials is they try to convince us to buy things we really don't need. Did I know, or care, about Orange Glo before I turned on the TV? Absolutely not. Was I living a fairly complete life without a Big City Slider maker? You bet. Billy's job was to make these products seem so indispensable I could not live without them. Yet, God already feels that way about us. We are God's creation, made in God's image and likeness. God knows us, loves us, wants us, even without free shipping. There is no pitch to be made, no infomercial needed. And you know what, even Billy Mays does not have to try to sell God on Billy Mays. God's already got the original.
Take a moment today and feel what it is like to be truly loved and wanted. Then, try to share a little bit of that feeling with somebody else. Why? Because if you order now, we will throw in another supply of unlimited love absolutely free. You just pay shipping and handling.
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