Bumper Stickers

People who place bumper stickers on their cars are a unique breed.  They seem not to care that the resell value of their vehicle might be compromised by using fairly strong adhesives to plaster messages across the back bumper.  No, these bold road warriors have something to say to you and me and they are willing to sacrifice a few bucks and their cars to get the word out.  They know that we will look at their stickers, especially if they have bright colors or they are shinny. Ohhhh, shinny... We can't help it.  It is a Pavlovian reflex.  We will slow down, speed up, and even risk creating a four-car pile up just to make sure we get a good look. 

Some bumper stickers are pretty straight forward.  They tell us what political candidate the owner supports or what school they or their children attend.  They obviously feel passionate enough about these things to drive around town and tell everyone about them.  And they are mildly interesting, yet easily forgotten. 

The bumper stickers that most interest me, besides the really shinning ones, require a bit more thought.  Not about their meaning, but about the emotional state of the driver.  Let me give you a few examples:

MY CHILD BEAT UP YOUR HONOR ROLE STUDENT
Where to begin with this one?  How about Prozac!  Obviously, someones child is not an ace in the classroom and they are feeling just a bit insecure about it.  However, given the recent anti-bullying emphasis in most schools I am not sure that you want this plastered on your car.  Especially when the cops come by.  Plausible deniability is a good thing when Family Services gets involved.  Trust me.

DO NOT MEDDLE IN THE AFFAIRS OF DRAGONS FOR YOU ARE CRUNCHY AND GOOD WITH KETCHUP
Just as guess here, but if the owner of the vehicle is over 40 they played lots of Dungeons and Dragons as a youth.  Lots.  If they are under 40, many a weekend night has been spent online with World of Warcraft. In either case, I have just a few question, like how do you know humans taste good with ketchup?  And when did the dragons start talking to you about their dietary habits?  And why didn't they eat you..with ketchup?  Just asking.

ASIDE FOR YOUR HUSBAND, HOW WAS THE THEATRE MRS. LINCOLN
I saw this in a parking lot and had to stop and make sure I was reading it correctly.  And I thought I had a dark sense of humor.  Someone is not yet over their dog running away from home when they were 8,are they?  Nothing like this bumper sticker to announce to the world that we are dealing with some serious abandonment issues. 

It is truly amazing that a few words can tell us so much about a person (or at least get us started on filling in a whole lot of blanks).  So, I was wondering, what if our lives were put on a bumper sticker.  I know this sounds crazy, but stay with me here.  Is the message on your average tombstone really longer than a bumper sticker?  Here lies Frank Smith, beloved husband and father.  For at least the next 100 years that is all that most people will ever know about Frank.  And the only people that will even know that scant amount of information will have to wander through the cemetery to learn it.  But a bumper sticker will be viewed by thousands and thousands of people.  While you are alive!  Plus, you get to control the message (we all know the risks of allowing your children, who may be very disappointed to discover that their inheritance won't even cover a trip to McDonald's, the ability to choose the words that will stay with you for eternity).

So, where do you begin?  What is it that defines who you are?  Is it your occupation?  Your marital status?  Sexual orientation?  Being a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, brothers, sister, niece, nephew?  How about a hobby?  Perhaps a pet?  Political beliefs?  Dreams?  Disappointments?  Successes?  Failures?  Faith, or the lack thereof?

Tough, isn't it.  Still, I think this is a useful little game to play.  In all honestly, we already create mental bumper stickers for most of the people in our lives.  And they do it to us.  Our impressions of others are summed up in simple words and labels that make it possible for us to place them in our universe.  Mary is our co-worker, single mother, and obsessed with Brad Pitt.  Of course her life is more complex and complicated, but these are the first things that come to mind when we think of her.  And they are about bumper sticker length. The challenge comes not in making up bumper stickers for others, but in doing so for ourselves.

Defining ourselves is a difficult task and most of us avoid even attempting to do it.  We often rely on others to tell us who we are and what we believe and what is important in our lives.  Don't get me wrong, community is a blessing from God and our identities are going to be shaped by the communities we are a part of.  Still, do we know ourselves well enough to even come up with a few simple, yet accurate words, to describe who we are?  And are we willing to risk sharing those words with others?  Or is the last thing we want to see in this word is a 2001 Honda Accord running around town advertising the very essence of who we are?

Maybe that is why many of us opt not to put bumper stickers on our cars.  Sure, we are worried about the resell value, but what we are ultimately concerned with is exposing ourselves.