Changes part 2

I have always been told that if you put a frog in a pot of boiling water it would jump out (what creature, given arms and or legs, would opt to stay in? Really). If, however, you put said amphibian in a pot of water and slowly turn up the heat the frog will not notice and boil to death. Hmmmm. This sounds like an urban legend. I have not met a single person who has ever tried this out. Why would you want to boil a frog anyway? I always thought you fried their legs.
This illustration has been used to explain a number of different things in our world including marriages (I know, the image of a frog slowly boiling to death in a pot of water is oh so romantic. I feel a Hallmark moment about to happen!) Yes, in some marriages there are major events that happen that can threaten the relationship (death of a child, infidelity, major illness). Yet, for most of us, the changes happen very slowly and without our noticing it our marriages slowly die out.
I think there might be some truth to this (the marriage part, not the frog). I remember a decent chunk of the day my wife and I got married. Her uncle is the one who performed the service. There were people there. My wife wore white. After that, it's a blur. I do, however, recall what I was thinking as her uncle was giving his homily (oh, like you paid attention to what the minister said at your wedding. Please.) I looked at my wife and thought "yeah, I can grow old with this person." What can I say, I'm a helpless romantic.
The problem is, that person I married on a cold December day is not the one I am married to now. Nor is she likely to be the one I will be enjoying senior discounts with in the not too distant future. Want to know something else - I am not the same person she married, either (though I still have my incredible green eyes that make me irresistible to her. Most of the time. Well, some of the time.)
In seventeen years we have lived in two countries, four states, had three children, changed jobs a number of times, each of us has had experiences with unemployment, buying houses, selling houses, and a couple of medical problems that, while not major, still mattered. Oh, and did I mention we have three kids. Only an idiot in his twenties could stand up on his wedding day and think that the person he was looking at was not going to be changed by life. And I am that idiot.
I am convinced that there are certain times in every relationship where you have to fall in love with your spouse all over again. Fall in love with the person they are now, not the one they used to be. Some people don't do this. They stay married, for their own reasons, but at some juncture they chose not to love the person they are married to. I am not judging those folks, but I can't do that. I really am a romantic. I want to be in love with my wife. And that means at various times in our life together I have had to fall in love with her. And she with me. It will happen again, somewhere down the road, maybe many more times in the future.
I also believe that we have to fall in love with God many times in our life. The Bible is full of marriage language to describe God's relationship with God's people. As I change so my understanding of God changes. At various points in my life I have had to come to grips with this "new" God, the one I did not know before. I have to be honest here, I have not always liked the new God, much less loved the new God. Not at first anyway. I want what is comfortable, predictable, familiar. I want God to stay the same as when we first met. But then I would be missing out on so much because the new God is full of so many surprises and wonders and levels of love I never knew before. So, I say turn up the heat and let the water boil. OK, maybe just warm it up, about hot tub temperature, if you will. But let the changes come.