Waiting, Part 3

N- n- now th- that don't kill me
Can only make me stronger
I need you to hurry up now
'cause I can't wait much longer

"Stronger" Kanye West

When I was around 11 or 12 years old I remember calling the local radio station to make a song request. The DJ answered the phone and I told him what song I wanted him to play. "No problem, " he said. I hung up and sat by my radio eager (yes, even anticipating) to hear the song. I waited, and waited, and waited. Minutes, hours, days passed by and still I did not hear the song. OK, maybe it was just minutes that passed by, but it sure felt like days. After 45 minutes I called back. It is amazing how indignant a pre-teen can be on the phone. "Where is my song," I demanded, sure that my righteous anger would help the DJ see the error of his ways. It was at this moment that I learned two important life lessons: radio DJ's lie, and they can have a tendency to hang up on angry callers.

There may be some of you wondering why this was such a big deal (and why after 30 years I am still talking about it). This event happened before the advent of Itunes and digital music. Yes, you could buy music at the record store, but only if they had it in stock...and you had money. New music came to us via the radio. We heard what the radio station wanted us to hear when they wanted us to hear it. MTV, even when they actually played music videos, was no different.

Now, thanks be to God, the world is different. If I want a song I can download it. Well, sort of. Seems like the Beatles are still bigger than Jesus because downloading their music, legally, is a bit of a problem. However, I have access to almost all the music I want. It does not even have to be produced by a major record label and some artists will even give their songs away. For free! I like free, it is our friend. I also like bands who give away free music. They are our friends as well, even if their music is not very good.

There is a key concept at work here: control. Many consumers, myself included, want control over our lives. I don't like someone telling me when and if I can listen to a song or watch a video or view a movie. I want what I want when I want it. Provided, of course, that I have the money to pay for it. Which takes us back to our dear, dear friend, Mr. Free.

The other day I was in a grocery store and noticed that they were not open 24 hours a day. It shocked me. What if I needed a Twinkie at 2am, what would I do? Wait till the store opened? Absolutely not! I would go to the store that had the good sense to be open at 2am and have Twinkies in stock. It does not matter that I never want a Twinkie at 2am, it's just the idea that this store is telling me I have to wait that bothers me. Its and on-demand world and I am an on-demand girl...er, boy.

So, I am left to wonder if part of my problem with waiting on God has to do with my 21st century consumer mentality. Do I view God as a vendor of goods and services, sort of like a bigger version of Amazon? (did you know that Amazon gives away free music? Over 500 songs. This makes them our special friend!) If I want God then God should be available, ready to deal with whatever issue is on my heart or mind. In short, I want control over my relationship with God. And that, my friends, is the problem. To be a follower of Jesus means that rather than trying to control God I surrender myself to God. When God calls, I answer. When God says move, I go. And if, gasp, God says wait, then I wait, as hard as that may be.

I still believe that God is capable of moving and communicating at speeds that our ancestors never dreamed of. I am convinced that God is active in the world all the time, I only need to look beyond myself to see it. And I think waiting bites! But my desire is to follow Jesus and to serve God. If that means there will be times when I have to wait then I will suck it up and wait. At least I have free music to help me pass the time!